


But when all is said and done I know you are still the only one

by kleos_8



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes's Notebooks, Bucky Barnes-centric, Domestic Avengers, Established Relationship, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Future Fic, M/M, Masturbation, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 02:28:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8515198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kleos_8/pseuds/kleos_8
Summary: Steve sees Bucky, really sees him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have a beta. English isn't my first language, if you find any grammatical mistakes, please let me know.
> 
> Title from the song The only one by The Black Keys.

Sometimes Steve watches Bucky and he can see his best friend from Brooklyn in the 30s, a lifetime ago. This Bucky is careful and worries too much for the people he loves.

He talks about Becca sometimes, all the things she used to complain about non stop and all the things she used to get overexcited about.

He plays with Clint’s kids, with a patient only a boy growed up with three younger sisters could ever have.

 

He has a cocky smile, a smart mouth and he’s sure of himself. 

Steve is pretty sure Bucky is one of Sam’s best friend. They joke together, mostly at Steve’s expense and he doesn’t mind at all, if he can see both of them laughing.

Sam spent a lot of time sharing his music tastes with Bucky. It was the way they bond in the beginning. Now, they suggest each other movies and books and sometimes Tony joins their conversations causing endless debates.

 

This Bucky is playful and loves dancing with Nat at the beat of her favorite r&b and electro music.

He flirts shamelessly with Steve, even if he knows Steve is already his, just to see him blushing. He likes whispering filthy things in his right ear –an old habit, because Bucky has never forget that Steve’s left ear was deaf once– while is moving inside of Steve increasing his arousal, until Steve is coming untouched and loud. 

 

 

Sometimes Steve watches Bucky and he can see all the little things that remain of the Winter Soldier, reminding him costantly what HYDRA did to him.

This Bucky is the strongest person Steve has ever known and he’s so proud of him that sometimes hurts, because he’d rather be proud of Bucky for other things than surviving decades of torture and still emerging from it as a whole person.

He watches Bucky and all he can feel is guilt and uselessness, but lately he discovered that guilt is more helpful if it becomes a force to improve things you want to change. So he helps Bucky in the only way he can, making him feel his presence, listening to him when he wants to share something and respecting his silences. This is how he learned to stop living in the past, and started making planes for a better future, something he never wanted before and never knew he needed to do.

This Bucky is quiet, observant and tends to live too much inside his head. He feels a deep guilt about the things he has done, but he knows he can’t change the past. He accepted this truth better than Steve has; he’s always been more reflective and sensible than Steve, even when he tried to cover it with his attractive charm. Now, he is aware that the only thing he can do is try to make amends for his past and live the present, for himself, for the people he loves and for the ones who are gone.

Sometimes this Bucky needs to talk to Nat, either they meet each other in front of two cups of hot tea or they talk on the phone if one of them is away for a mission. They always speak in English, using just a couple of Russian words to fill the gaps of untranslatable words. Nat knows Bucky’s mother language is English and respects it and Steve he’s glad there are people in this world who can be their family, even if their biological families are gone.

 

 

Most of the time, Steve watches Bucky and sees him: he is beautiful, inside and outside, charming beauty of Bucky Barnes and rough beauty of the Winter Soldier; they fuse togheter and make this new Bucky who is amazing.

He is a man who lived thousand of lives: he was content even when they were poor and freezing, he took care of Steve when nobody was there and lived with the constant dread of Steve’s death during winters. He’s seen the horrors of the war, felt them on his skin and still can see that there are things worth living. Steve is grateful, he’ll always be grateful.

He reads a lot of books, varying topics and languages and he writes too in his little notebooks he leaves scattered in their apartment. Steve doesn’t open them, Bucky has the right to have his own privacy, but he wonders what he would write about.

Bucky must notice it, mostly because of the little glances Steve gives to him while they are splayed on the sofa, Steve sketching absently and Bucky writing intently.

Apparently, Steve _really_ can’t be subtle. So Bucky takes pity on him and shares some of his writing. Mostly he chooses some memories he wrote about the first time he recalled them.

They’re not always memories, but he writes thoughts too, about himself, about Steve, about people, about history, about everything. Steve might be biased but he can’t help but think that Bucky’s writing is good: it’s clean and linear and he likes the way Bucky tells facts and memories. He is honest to the core, never censuring himself, yet he keeps his tone misured, adding anecdotes and funny stories, because he hates being dramatic.

Then he writes about Steve, and he manages to express his feelings, without being cheesy. He produces vivid and powerful pictures from words and Steve really doesn’t know how Bucky can bare himself _like that_ , without feeling exposed, but he is utterly proud of him.

Often Bucky writes about Steve _in that way_ too: his writing becomes erotic and poetic, even when is explicit. Bucky loves reading aloud his soft porn writing to Steve, watching his arousal, encouraging him to touch his own hard cock. Steve indulge him and follows his directive, partially because there isn’t anything in the world Steve would deny him and partially because lately he’s been trying to be less selfconscius.

It’s took him years to learn to love his own body, to consider himself pretty and stop feeling inadeguate in this big, perfect and unfamiliar body and he knows he wouldn’t win this battle against his brain without Bucky.

 

 

When Steve thinks about the future he sees them: two men still looking like young boys, in love with each others, retired from the duty –Steve knows they can’t fight forever, there will come a time, in which they won’t feel the need anymore and other heroes will take their places. It’s all right, people change and life goes on.

He likes to think he would draw and paint, Bucky would keep writing and they could do anything they always wanted to do. They would leave for a road trip with their bikes and maybe get the chance to finally see the Grand Canyon. They could live in a townhouse, in Brooklyn, get a dog and maybe start a family too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> You can find me here: [ kleos-8 ](http://kleos-8.tumblr.com).


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